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Nurture your Relationship

Falling pregnant heralds the beginning of a new era for you and your partner. Gone are the days of selfishness, forget about lazy Sunday afternoons and prepare to focus your energy and money on a third person, who has invaded what was once your exclusive little love club.

It’s so important to remember that while you’re about to welcome a baby into the world, who will no doubt become the centre of your universe, your relationship needs a lot of nurturing, if it is to survive.

During your pregnancy, as your hormones swing from one extreme to the other, your partner is likely to feel just a little sensitive, if not frustrated. After being snapped at for what is probably the umpteenth time, he’ll be a little hesitant to say or do certain things for fear of doing them wrong.

He may also feel a little jealous or cut off from the whole pregnancy experience.  It is, after all, you who will be carrying the baby, you who will feel the baby’s movements and kicks and you who will ultimately bond with the baby during your

So how does a relationship survive a pregnancy?

During your pregnancy, remember to include your partner as much as you can. Invite him to attend your doctors’ visits, give him a copy of your latest scan and ask his opinion on things like the colour scheme in the baby’s room.

Talk to your man about how you’re feeling.  If you’re irritable and ready to do serious damage to something (or someone), ask your partner to give you half an hour’s time-out, so that you can calm down, read a book and become human again

Allow your husband to explore your body. You may be a little embarrassed about the fact that you no longer have a waist and that cellulite has become the main feature on your butt, but getting to know the new, physical you, may possibly be an extremely exciting and rewarding experience for your husband. Don’t deny him that experience.

Many pregnant women completely lose their libido’s and it is their husbands and their relationships that suffer. Fortunately many men will be understanding and will give their wives the space that they need.  But being intimate doesn’t only mean having sex.  Snuggle up to your man as much as you can, shower him with kisses and tell him that you love him.  Communication here is key.

Take time out for each other. Modern day living is all about rushing around, making a fast buck and getting things done now.  If your life is extremely busy, block off time in your diary every week, just for you and your man.  Meet him for lunch on a Tuesday, get home from work early on a Thursday and go for a walk together, go out for dinner on a Friday and watch TV together on the weekends.

As first time parents, you will probably be anxious about what lies ahead.  Be open about your fears and discuss how you will resolve them.

Once baby is born, there will be even less time for the two of you. Your baby will be extremely demanding, you’ll both be exhausted from night feeds and crying babies and you’ll probably feel really unsexy.

Now is the time to be even more conscious about your relationships. Remember that your baby isn’t what your relationship is about; there were things that attracted you to one another long before baby was even a twinkle in your eyes.

Make time for each other, even if it means half an hour of “you time”, where you can talk about your day without interruption.

Also try to drag yourself away from your new baby once a week or once a fortnight.  Make Friday or Saturday nights “date nights”. Find a babysitter; your mom, your sister, your friend or your nanny and spend an hour or two in adult company only.

You want your baby to grow up in a happy home.  A happy home starts with a happy mom and dad.

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